All I've Missed
by fairygurl621
Summary: CompleteAfter five years apart away from New York and Samantha, Martin learns of the daughter he never knew he had. SM, DM, SD.
1. Daughter

It had been nearly five years since Martin had transferred to Denver. Five years since he had last seen Samantha. But now he was back. "She moved from the city." Martin thought as he parked his car in front of a small house in a suburban neighborhood, only twenty minutes away from the sky scrapers of New York City. The house was just as Danny had described it to him earlier. Cream colored stone covered the sides of the house with a large oak tree off the side, and a path surrounded in overgrown flowers. "Sam never had much of a green thumb." Marty thought as he moved toward the brick colored door. He knocked twice before it opened. He imagined Sam standing there wearing jeans and a tee-shirt with her hair tied back. Identical to what she looked like the night he had left. But to his surprise, Martin was greeted by a little girl no older than four.

"Hi." Her voice was young and childlike, but calm-unlike most little kids.

"Hi. I'm sorry. I must have the wrong house. I'm looking for a woman named Samantha."

"That's my mom. Hold on, I'll get her." As the girl walked off, Martin stood in awe. He suddenly imagined Samantha married and pregnant with her second, or even third, child. The little girl did look a lot like Sam, pale skin and brown eyes. But she had wavy, light-brown hair and cheek dimples like Martin. He unexpectedly he thought that the girl he had just talked to was his daughter. "It's probably just a coincidence. I'm not the only guy in the world with brown hair."

Samantha then appeared at the door next to her daughter. Her hair was longer than he remembered, and wavier. She wore less make up then she had when they were together, but she was still beautiful.

"Martin?" Her jaw dropped as she spoke his name.

"Hi, Sam," He didn't really know what to say to her after all these years, "I guess I should have called before I came."

"No, it's okay. I'm just glad her here." Samantha turned to her daughter, "Honey, could you go play in your room until dinner?"

"Okay mom." The girl turned to Martin, "It was nice meeting you."

Martin smiled, "it was nice meeting you too."

The girl skipped off out of sight.

"Did you want to come in? I can make coffee or something."

"Sure. Coffee would be nice."

Martin followed Samantha though a small living room scattered with random toys and books. "Sorry about the mess. We weren't expecting company." Samantha smiled at Marty and he noticed she was not wearing a ring. While in the kitchen, which was tidier than the living room, Samantha started making coffee. Martin knew he had to say something about the girl. "So, you have a daughter." Sam turned to him. "She seems like a good kid."

"Yea," Samantha didn't really know how to tell Martin she was his daughter too, "she's great."

"What's her name?"

"Cecilia. Cecilia Elizabeth," Sam paused, "Fitzgerald."

Martin looked up at her, their eyes locked. At the moment, all the old feelings were back. The same feelings they had when Samantha first asked Martin if he wanted to share a cab. The feelings they had when they were together.


	2. You Could Have Told Me

Samantha poured the fresh coffee into coffee cups. "Do you still take your coffee black?"

"Yea." They quietly sipped their coffee, neither person knowing what to say. Sam finally broke the ice.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Martin looked up at her again, she was close to tears.

"When did you find out you were pregnant?" Marty didn't really know what else to say to her.

"Right after you moved. When you were transferred to Denver. I wasn't completely sure at first, and I didn't want to worry you if it was just a scare. That was before you left. I went to the doctor shortly after to be sure. I didn't know I was definitely pregnant until after you left."

"You could have told me."

"I was scared. I didn't know how you would react. And you had just moved. I didn't want to complicate things."

"I would have come back."

"I know you would have."

"In a heartbeat." The couple looked at each other, both softly smiling.

"So, um, what are you doing back here?" Sam asked what she had wanted to know since she opened the door to him.

"I moved back. I was reassigned, again, to the New York office. I'm back, Sam."

Martin reached over and grabbed her hand, Samantha looked up at him and smiled, "I'm glad." Samantha looked over at the clock, it was nearly six o'clock. "Do you have any dinner plans?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to eat with us tonight? I'm making spaghetti. I'm still not much of a cook."

"Spaghetti sounds great." Samantha walked over to the stove where she started boiling water. Martin walked over next to her. "Does she know?" Samantha turned to him, "does who know what?"

"Cecilia. Does she know about me?" Samantha turned back to her water, which had begun to steam. "She knows your name. And she kind of knows what you look like. It must have not registered when she answered the door."

"Is that all?"

"She knows how much I love you. And how much you loved me."

"Love. I still love you Samantha." She smiled at him and leaned over to hug him. He lightly kissed the top of her head. "What do we do now? I mean, now that you're back." Samantha said, still deep in Martin's embrace.

"I don't know. I guess now we eat dinner."


	3. Dinner As a Family

Martin helped Cecilia set the table while Samantha finished cooking.

"My name is Cecilia. What's your name?" Martin looked up to Samantha, she nodded at him. "Martin."

"That's my dad's name. I think." Martin was afraid to say anything. As if on cue, Samantha asked Martin and Cecilia what they wanted to drink. Cecilia wanted milk, Martin opted for water.

Naturally, Cecilia was curious about Martin. "How do you know my mommy?"

"We used to work together."

"Oh. Are you a cop?"

"Sort of, I work in the FBI."

"Cool. Do you have a gun?"

"Cecilia!" Samantha said, "Please be polite to our guest."

Martin smiled, "It's okay. I don't mind."

They ate in silence for a little while when Cecilia started to talk again, she definitely had the same amount of energy that her parents had. "Mommy, when am I gonna see Uncle Danny again? The fair is next weekend. Can he go with us?" Martin smiled at the familiar name. Samantha turned to Cecilia, "We'll have to ask him. I can call him tomorrow if you want."

Cecilia turned to Martin, "Do you know my Uncle Danny? He's not my real uncle, he's just mommy's friend from work."

Martin smiled at her, than Samantha. "Yea. Danny's a friend of mine too." No one really knew what else to say during dinner. Martin and Samantha didn't want to let it slip that Martin was Cecilia's father. Cecilia had usually been fairly shy with strangers, but not Martin. Cecilia acted around Martin the same way she acted around Samantha, chatty and energetic. She had been nervous when she first answered the door to Martin because she had never seen him before. The three of them ate in silence until they were all finished.

"Ceel, why don't you go get your doll to show Martin."  
"Okay. Which doll?

"The one Aunt Viv gave you for Christmas last year." Cecilia skipped off to her room again while her parents cleaned up. "When do we tell her?" Martin whispered to Sam.

"I don't know. She seems to be opening up to you. Maybe I'll tell her tonight."

"That sounds good."

Cecilia came in holding a blonde haired doll. She held it up to Martin. "Her name is Rosie because her dress has roses on it. Aunt Vivian gave it to me for Christmas last year."

Martin kneeled down to her level, "She's pretty."

Cecilia smiled "I think she looks like mommy."

"She does. Except your mom has brown eyes, like you. Rosie has green eyes."

"I don't look like my mom. I think I look more like my dad."

"Do you know what your dad looks like?"

"Kind of. I had an old picture of him. But I lost it."

Martin stood up and glanced at the clock, it was almost eight o'clock.

"I should probably go. Hotels fill up fast in the city. And I don't have any reservations."

Samantha walked over to him, "you're staying in a hotel?"

"Yea. I don't have an apartment in the city anymore. There's really no where else to stay."

"Stay here." Sam suggested. She hadn't seen Marty in five years and she wanted to be with him for more than a couple hours.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a problem."

"It's okay Martin, you can sleep on the couch."

"If it's okay with you," he looked down at Cecilia, "is it okay with you?"

"Yeah! Stay with us!"

"Okay. I'll go get my bags from the car. Thanks Sam."


	4. Telling Cecilia

Cecilia put on her pajamas while Samantha looked for extra pillows and blankets for Martin. "Okay kiddo, time to get under the covers." Cecilia looked for a book and jumped on the bed where her mother was sitting. "So, do you like Martin?" Samantha knew asking Cecilia this it would pave the way for tell her Martin was her father.

"Yeah. He's nice."

"Cecilia, honey, do you still want to know about your…" Samantha was interrupted by Martin knocking at the door. In some small way, she was relieved. "Sorry. Am I interrupting something?" Samantha stood up, "No. I'll be right back Ceel. Can you read by yourself?"

"Yep, this book is easy." Samantha kissed her daughter on the top of her head and walked toward Martin. Sam closed the door and the two of them walked into the kitchen.

"Martin, before I tell her. I want to make sure that you're staying in New York. And that you won't leave again."

"Sam, I didn't even want to leave in the first place. You know I didn't have a choice."

"You could have fought it."

"You could have told me you were pregnant. Do you know how bad I feel for leaving you?"

"I know you do. I just want Cecilia to have her father."

"She has me. You both do." Martin leaned over and kissed Samantha.

"Okay. We can tell her together."

* * *

"Mom, I finished my book!"

"That's great honey. Can I talk to you for a second?" Samantha walked toward her daughter while Martin leaned on the wall by Cecilia's door.

"Sure." Cecilia replied as Samantha sat down on her daughter's small bed. "Honey, I…Your…" Samantha didn't really know how to break it to Cecilia easily. "Martin, can you come here?" Martin walked over and stood next to the Samantha. "Cecilia. You've always wanted to meet your father, right?" Samantha asked her and softly held Martin's hand.

"Yes."

"Honey, Martin is your father."

If Cecilia was older, she could have figured it out sooner. But she was only four. She looked at her mother, then her father. Then she smiled, "Okay." Both parents looked relived and Martin sat next to Samantha on their daughters' bed. "I'm going to go to bed now. Good night mom. Good night, um, dad."

"Good night." Samantha pulled up Cecilia's covers and kissed her cheek. Martin smiled at her, "night." He didn't really know what else to do. They walked out of the bedroom, turning out the light and closed the door.


	5. Staying The Night

Samantha arranged the pillows on the couch for Martin. Things had gone surprisingly well with Cecilia. Martin had decided to take a shower and Samantha could hear the water running. After Sam made coffee for the next morning and cleaned up a little, she decided to check on Cecilia. She was sound asleep. Samantha stood in the doorway smiling at her beautiful daughter. Martin came up behind her and put his hand around her waist. "Our daughter." Samantha whispered to Martin as he kissed her neck. Samantha closed Cecilia's door and spun around so she was face to face with Martin. She took his hand and led him into her bedroom. Once inside, Samantha kissed Martin. It was a long, meaningful kiss and neither one wanted to pull away. Samantha smiled at him after they came apart. "I'm glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back too. I should probably go hit the couch. Thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Sam."

"Good night." Samantha smiled softly as she watched Martin walk down the hallway, and pause briefly at his daughters' bedroom door. The news of him having a daughter was surprising for him, but he was happy about it. He did still feel guilty about having not known her for the first four years of her life. Samantha turned to her closet to get ready for bed.


	6. Late Night, Early Morning

At one o'clock a.m., Samantha awoke from a dreamless sleep. She began to remember that Martin Fitzgerald, the father of her daughter, was asleep in her living room. She got out of bed and started for the kitchen, where she was planning on getting a glass of water. On her way, she checked on Cecilia, who was still in a deep sleep. Samantha continued walking in the blackened hallway. She glanced over at the vacant couch, covered in blankets that had been pulled down. Sam's first thought was that he left, he realized he didn't want the responsibly of a daughter and left. She looked toward the kitchen table, and comforted, saw Marty sitting at the table drinking a glass of water.

"Hi." She smiled and sat on the chair next to him.

"Hi. Couldn't sleep either?"

"No." Samantha took a swallow of Martin's cold water and stared down at her hands.

"Are you okay?" Martin was concerned about her and he wanted her to tell her what was wrong.

"Yeah, it's just been hard since you left."

"With Cecilia?"

"With everything. Work, I have a desk job now, and dealing with everyone. I took it the hardest when you left, and I guess I just didn't understand why you had to go."

"I'm back now Sam. It's going to be okay, I promise."

Samantha leaned into Martin's frame. He put his arms around her and they stayed there for several minutes, until they heard a small noise from the hallway. Cecilia stood rubbing her eyes, holding her teddy bear. "Mommy, I had a bad dream." Samantha got up and walked towards her young daughter, "remember what I told you about bad dreams?"

Cecilia paused in thought, "They aren't real."

Martin smiled to himself, that sounded like something Samantha would say.

"Can you go back to bed by yourself? Or do you want me to come?" Samantha asked

"I want you to come."

"Okay, you go get under the covers. I'll be there in a minute." Cecilia walked back to her room, still hugging her teddy bear. "I guess I should go. Cecilia has a lot of bad dreams, probably because she likes reading so many fairy-tails."

"Sam," Martin stood up and walked toward her, "I'll go. You go get some sleep."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"It's okay. I want to. She is my daughter after all."

"Okay. I'll be in my room if you need anything."

Samantha headed toward her room, while Martin headed toward Cecilia's. "Hi. So what's this dream about?"

"Where's my mommy."

"Your mom went back to bed. But I can get her if you want."

"No, it's okay. Are you really my dad?"

Martin smiled at the girl he barley knew but already adored. "Yea, I'm really your dad."

"My mom says she still loves you. Do you still love her?"

"Yes. I love your mother a lot."

"Are you going to be here tomorrow?"

"I'm going to be here tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that."

Cecilia smiled as she drifted off to sleep. Martin stayed there until he knew she was definitely asleep. He lightly kissed the top of her head before he left the room, carefully closing the door. Marty paused in the hallway, contemplating if he should go back to the couch or to Samantha's room; it was a fairly easy decision.

He knocked lightly on the wood door before walking in. Samantha was sitting up in bed. "She's asleep." Martin whispered. Sam's room was dark but they could still make out each other's faces. "I was hoping you'd come." Martin smiled and closed the door, then walked over to the bed. He sat down next to her and she leaned on his shoulder. Martin kissed the top of her head; Samantha turned to him and smiled. He leaned down to kiss her and Samantha pulled him closer. "Are you sure?" Martin said as he pulled away gently.

"You've been gone for five years. I want this more than anything." Martin leaned in more and Samantha started to unbutton her pajama shirt.


	7. Morning Routine

Samantha awoke around seven a.m., which was later than usual. She imagined she had dreamt everything; Martin coming back, her sleeping with him. She stood up and walked out of her room. The morning sun shown in through the windows, lighting up the house. Cecilia was at the kitchen table eating Lucky Charms "Good morning, honey." Samantha smiled at her daughter. "Coffee?" Samantha smiled at the familiar voice. "Yeah, coffee would be great." A couple seconds later, Martin walked toward her holding two cups of coffee. "Good morning. You over slept and I didn't want to wake you."

"Thanks." They smiled at each other and walked toward the table.

"Mom, I'm finished with my cereal. Can I watch TV?"

Samantha sighed, "Why don't you get ready for school, then you can watch a little bit."

Cecilia agreed and walked off to her room.

"School?" Martin thought she seemed a little young to be going to school.

"Preschool actually. I still work full time; I thought that would be the best if she went."

"Probably a good idea." They sat in silence, slowly drinking their coffee. "Sam," Samantha looked up at Martin, "Last night. Do you regret it?" Samantha thought for only a second, "No." They both smiled at each other

"Do you work today?" Martin asked

"Yea, but it's a short day; Ten until two. Do you?"

"I don't have to. I don't start again until Monday. But I could go in earlier if I wanted to. I came back earlier to see you." Sam smiled softly and looked down at her empty coffee cup. "I'm glad."

"Samantha, I should probably tell you. I did try to fight it," Samantha looked up at Marty, confused, "I talked to Van Doren, I told her I didn't want to be transferred. But she said I didn't really have a choice, and it wouldn't be for very long. I just had to fill in for someone. But they kept me longer. I left for New York the same day they told me I could come back." That was something Samantha wanted to hear for about five years. "I'm glad you told me."

"Mom! Can you braid my hair?" Cecilia came into the kitchen holding a brush and a couple pink hair ties that matched her dress. Martin stood up, "I'm gonna go get ready."

"Okay. Come over here Ceel." Samantha braided two neat braids into her daughter's wavy hair. "Okay. You can watch TV while I get ready."

"Okay." Cecilia got her backpack ready while Samantha walked to her bedroom. She passed Martin in the hall, "Marty, could you make Cecilia's lunch while I get ready?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, she'll help you." Samantha continued on to her bedroom to get ready for another day, while Martin walked into the kitchen to begin a day he wasn't used to, one where he had a daughter.

"Cecilia, do you want me to make your lunch?"

Cecilia turned away from her television program to face her father.

"Sure. Do you want me to help? I know where everything is."

"Sure."

Samantha came into the kitchen wearing black pants and a red long sleeved shirt; she was pulling her hair up into a bun as she watched as she watched Martin and their daughter making lunch. It seemed so normal to her. She smiled to her self, 'This is going to work.'

"I'm ready to go." Cecilia said as she put on her sweater. Samantha turned to Martin, speaking softly, "Do you want to come with us? You can see wear she goes to school."

Martin smiled, "Sure. I'd like that."


	8. Drop Off

"The school is only ten minutes away, which is nice. And it's not to close to the city." Samantha told Martin. The car was quiet for almost the whole ten minutes. Samantha turned the car into a small parking lot next to a modest building with windows where covered in childlike paper cutouts; pink flowers, yellow suns, and multicolored hands. "Did you want to come in?" Samantha asked Martin as she climbed out of the drivers' side and assisted her daughter in getting out of the car. "Sure, if you want me too."

"Cecilia would like it. So would I."

Martin got out of the passenger side of the car and followed Samantha and Cecilia though the parking lot. Ceel was holding her mother's hand and the other hand was holding her teddy bear Marty recognized from the night before. Martin caught up to them and walked closely to Sam.

The three of them entered the school, which was already filling with little kids and their parents. Samantha and Cecilia knew where to go, and Martin followed close behind. The classroom only had a few students in it, and more were coming in. An older woman walked toward them, Martin guessed it was his daughter's teacher.

"Hi, Miss Carole!" Cecilia said as she walked toward a cubby labeled 'Cecilia F.', she had her father's last name. "Hello Cecilia," The older woman replied and then looked up at Samantha and Martin, "Hello Samantha, how are you today?"

"I'm doing well, Carole. I'd like you to meet someone," Samantha glanced toward Martin, "This is Martin Fitzgerald." Martin shook Carole's hand.

"Fitzgerald? Would that make you…?"

Samantha nodded, "Cecilia's father."

"Of course, she looks just like you." Martin didn't really know what to say, so he just nodded.

"We should probably get going. Nice seeing you again, Carole." Samantha looked toward her daughter, who was getting her desk ready. "Cecilia, do want to say goodbye?" Cecilia ran over to her mother, who had knelt down ready to hug her. Cecilia hugged her tightly, "I love you mommy."

"I love you too." Cecilia pulled away and looked up toward Martin. Awkwardly, Martin also hugged Cecilia. "Bye, Dad. I'll see you later." Samantha was smiling as she watched them. "I'll see you later." Cecilia walked back toward her desk. Samantha said goodbye to Carole, then her and Martin walked toward her car.

In the car, Samantha put her keys in the ignition but didn't turn the car on. Martin looked over at her; she had sadness in her eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just hard leaving her." Marty reached over and held her hand, "It's okay, and she seems to like it there. And her teacher is really nice."

"I know. I just feel bad." A few seconds later, Samantha started the car. "It's only eight. We can go back to our house you want."

"Okay."


	9. Back At Home

In the house, Samantha walked over to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. "Can I get you anything?" Martin sat down on the couch and started folding up the blankets from the night before that he didn't really use. "No. I'm okay." Samantha sat down next to him on the couch. She leaned into Marty and he put his arm around her shoulders. "Did I tell you how happy I am that you're back?"

"Only a few times," Martin grinned, "I'm happy to be back." Martin kissed the top of Sam's head. "I missed a lot, didn't I?" Samantha sat up and turned to face him. "I mean with Cecilia, and you."

"You didn't miss all of it, Martin. And it was my fault."

"It's not your fault, Sam. I should have come back, I should have visited."

"You worked a lot. It's okay. You're here now." Samantha leaned forward and kissed Martin, and Martin kissed her back. He put his arms around her and she leaned forward. Martin started to lie down, bringing Samantha down with him.

"Sam," Martin pulled away, "This probably isn't the best idea right now." Samantha drew back, feeling hurt. She stood up and walked toward the kitchen. Martin stood up and went after her. "Sam, I'm sorry. It's just that you have leave for work soon." Samantha decided to change the subject, "So, what are your plans today."

Martin knew what she was getting at, so he decided to drop it. "I don't know. I'll probably go apartment hunting. I don't want to interrupt your life anymore than I have to."

"I don't mind. You can stay with us for another day if you want. Until you find an apartment. Cecilia would like it," She smiled at him, "so would I."

Martin smiled back at her, "Thanks. Well, I guess my day just freed up a little bit."

"You could come by the office later if you want. To see everyone again."

"Okay, I'll do that."


	10. Look Who's Back

Samantha entered the bullpen at a quarter to ten. Danny was already at his desk drinking coffee and looking over phone records of a missing woman. "Hey, Sam. You're here early."

"Just a little bit." She said as she walked toward her desk. Danny came over and stood by her, "Have you talked to Martin yet? He called me yesterday at work and said he was coming back. He wanted to know your address."

"Yeah, he came over. He met Cecilia."

Danny's voice lowered, "So he knows?"

"He knows."

"Is he okay with it?"

"I think so. He seemed surprised at first, but I couldn't really blame him. He had just met the daughter he didn't know he had. But he seems happy about."

"That's good," Danny really cared for Ceel; she was like a niece to him. "Does she know?"

"Yea, we told her last night. She seemed happy also. She really likes Martin." Samantha smiled at the picture of herself and her daughter that sat on her desk. "I'm glad he's back."

Danny nodded, "I think we all are." Danny filled Samantha in on the missing woman, "Her name is Marla Gregory. She's 48, divorced, no kids. Last seen leaving work at seven p.m. to nights ago and didn't show up for a meeting the next morning. She had several calls the between ten p.m. and 4 a.m. after she was last seen. Can you check it out?"

"Sure." Samantha started work for the day. Vivian and Jack spent most of the time out on the field, while Danny helped Samantha in the office.

Around noon, while they were all in the bullpen (except Jack, who was in his office) Danny spoke loudly, "Look who's back." Samantha and Vivian turned toward him. Martin walked into the bullpen "This place didn't change a bit." Danny smiled and walked toward his friend, "How've you been, Marty?" Martin glanced toward Sam and then back at Danny, "Pretty good. Glad to be back. You?"

"Good. I should get back to work." Danny walked back to his desk. Vivian then came up to Martin, "It's nice to have you back." They hugged friendly. "I'll go tell Jack you're here."

"Okay." Vivian walked out of the bullpen. Danny looked at Sam and Martin, "I'm gonna, um, get some coffee. Does anyone want anything?"

They both shook their heads. Danny didn't really want coffee, but he knew that Samantha and Marty wanted to be alone. Martin walked toward Samantha, "Does everybody know?"

"About us? Or about Cecilia?"

"Both."

"Yes. They know that you're Cecilia's father. And they know that you didn't know. Danny knows that you know. I think that's it."

"Okay." Martin walked toward his old desk, which was almost completely empty. "At least the computer is still here. Do you need my help with anything? On the case, I mean."

Sam smiled "No, I think we're okay right now." Martin stood up as Jack entered the bull pen. "Hey Martin. Did Denver get sick of you?" Martin smiled and walked toward Jack, "Other way around. How are doing Jack?"

"I'm fine. Glad to have back someone who knows what they're doing. How have you been?"

"Good. Glad to be back in New York."


	11. You Knew, Didn't You?

It was three o'clock p.m. Samantha had left an hour earlier to get Cecilia from day care and had decided to bring her back to see everybody. Martin and Danny were the only ones left in the bullpen, Vivian had gone home after they found the missing woman and Jack was in his office doing paperwork. Martin walked over to Danny, "You knew didn't you?" Danny looked up in surprise. "I knew about what?"

"You knew I had a daughter. Two years ago when you came to Denver to help on that case, you could have told me then."

"What was I supposed to say? It's not just something you can just drop into a conversation: 'Hey Martin, by the way, you and Samantha have a two year old daughter back in New York. Can you get me the credit cards bills?' And I thought it would be better if Samantha told you."

"You could have done something."

"I didn't want to interfere with anything."

Martin walked back over to his empty desk. He had only been sitting for a minute when he heard voices in the hallway. "Uncle Danny!" Cecilia ran over to Danny and he lifted her up and gave her a hug. "Hi Cecil, how was school?"

"It was fun! I drew a bunch of pictures. I have one for you." Danny dropped Cecilia down and she ran back to her mother, "Mom, where did you put the picture of the dog?" Samantha opened her purse and handed her daughter the rolled up picture labeled 'Uncle Danny' written in Carole's handwriting. Cecilia watched Danny open it. "It's a big dog. I didn't know what else to draw."

"Thank you Cecilia. Do you want to help me put it up?"

"Okay!" Cecilia walked with Danny to his desk, and they put up Cecilia's latest drawing.

Martin walked toward Samantha. Samantha had changed into jeans and put her hair down. "What time do you get off?"

"I don't know. I could probably leave whenever I want to."

"Cecilia's staying at a friend's house tonight. She's been looking forward to it for a week. It'll give us sometime to be alone. Tomorrow is Saturday, I don't work weekends." Martin smiled at Samantha. As much as he wanted to get to know his daughter, it would be nice being alone with Sam for an evening. "We should probably get going. Can you be home before five?"

"I think so. I'll call if I can't make it."

"Ceel, are you ready to go?"

Cecilia nodded at her mother and hugged Danny goodbye. She then walked towards her father, "Are you going to be at home tonight? Martin looked down to her, "Yes. I'll be there."


	12. She Needs You, Marty

At four o'clock, Martin started packing up. Danny walked over to him, "Are you staying with Samantha?"

"For now, until I find an apartment. I probably should have gotten a hotel; I don't want to cause any trouble to them."

"Oh. You slept together didn't you?"

"Danny, we have a daughter. What do you think?"

"I mean since you got back, you slept together."

Martin turned away, "I have to go."

Danny smiled, "Its okay, Marty. You were gone for five years." Danny voice lowered, "She waited for you to get back, you know. She didn't say anything, but everyday she wished you would come back. She needs you, Marty. And I can guarantee you she doesn't want you to find an apartment."

Martin looked at his friend, "What do I say to her? I want to stay with her and Cecilia, but what if you're wrong? What if she does want me to leave?"

"Marty, as a friend to both of you, I know you both want the same thing. You want to be together. Tell her that you love her."

"She knows I love her."

"You need to tell her. She's afraid you're going to leave again. Even if you're just going to move into an apartment in the city, she doesn't want you to leave her and your little girl."

Martin finished packing up, "Thanks Danny. I know what I need to do."

"Are you going to find an apartment?"

"No, I don't think so. I need to talk to Samantha."


	13. I'm Not Going Anywhere

It was a quarter to five when Martin opened the door. The house was fairly dark, and Martin thought that maybe they had left already. Then, Cecilia came into the living room pulling a duffel bag. "Hi. Do you need help with that?" Cecilia shook her head, "no, I've got it. Carrie and her mom should be here soon. Carrie is my friend. I'm staying at her house with weekend."

"Weekend? I thought it was just tonight?"

"No, it's for her birthday. We're going to go to a hotel with a water park in it."

"That sounds like fun."

"Yea. They're here. Bye Mom!" Martin could hear Samantha softly saying 'Goodbye.' to her daughter. Martin leaned over and hugged his daughter. "I'll see you when you get back."

"Okay. Bye dad!" Cecilia carried her bag to the minivan and climbed in. Martin closed the door and walked toward the back of the house where he had heard Samantha earlier.

"Sam?" He opened her bedroom door and saw Sam sitting on the bed. "Cecilia left."

"I know."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Martin walked toward her bed. Samantha just sighed. Martin sat down next to her. "You can tell me."

"Did you find an apartment yet?"

"No, I haven't really looked yet. Do you want me to?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you want me to look for an apartment?" Samantha leaned into Marty.

"No." That didn't really seem surprising for Martin, but he was relieved that she had said that.

"I don't want to either." Martin put his arms around Samantha and pulled her closer.

"Sam. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know you aren't. You shouldn't have even gone in the first place. They could have found someone else."

"We can't do anything about that now."

Samantha curled up in Martin's arms; she wanted that moment to last forever.

"What do we do now? I mean, now that you're back. We can't just start off where we left off, things aren't that easy."

"We could make it easy," Martin smiled, "What do you want, Sam?"

"I want you to stay here. With us."

"Then I'll stay here." Samantha smiled at Martin's answer. So much had changed within the past five years, but Samantha still felt the same about Martin. She still loved him after all those years. She had been angry at him for leaving at first, but she understood he didn't really have a choice, and she had to stay calm for her coming baby.

"I couldn't find your number in Denver." Martin was confused, "What?"

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I tried to call you and tell you. But I couldn't find your number." That explained a lot to Martin, the way Samantha seemed guilty for not telling him, she felt bad she couldn't find him.

"I wanted to tell you. I knew…I knew you'd be happy. And I knew you'd want to come back. I really wanted you to come back. I just couldn't find you."

"I would have come back," Martin paused, "Did you ask Jack?"

Samantha sighed, "I didn't want him involved."

"Oh." Martin opened his mouth to say more, but Samantha cuddled into his arms more and her breathing got deeper. She was asleep. Martin kissed her head and pulled a nearby blanket around them. In a matter of minutes, Martin was asleep also.


	14. Flashbacks

Five Years Ago

"How long will you be gone?" Samantha asked as Martin begun to pack a suitcase.

"I don't know, a week, a month, a year. Van Doren didn't really know. I have to replace someone who's sick or something. Anyway, I have to stay until they find a permanent replacement."

"Why did they choose you?" Sam asked tearfully as she handed Martin several folded dress shirts.

"They said I was the most qualified." Martin replied as he begun stuffing his suitcase with socks and dress shirts. "I don't want to go."

"You don't have to." Samantha said as she sat on the bed next to the half-packed suitcase.

"Yes, I do. I don't have choice."

"It's just unfair."

"I know." Martin said as he sat down next to her. "But I'll be back before you know it."

Samantha began to cry and leaned back into Martin's arms. "I hate them. I hate them so much for taking you from me." Martin kissed her head. "I hate them too." Samantha looked up at him and he kissed her lightly on the lips. She kissed him back for a second but then pulled away. "I'm sorry, but this will just make it harder." Sam stood up and walked toward the bathroom and closed the door. Martin watched her leave, and stood up to finish packing his suitcase.

"Sam? I have to leave." Martin said as he knocked on the bathroom door. Sam emerged with red eyes. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she wore denim jeans with a black tee-shirt. That was the image of Samantha that Martin would remember for five years. Sam hugged Martin tightly, "I love you." She whispered. That was the first time she had said that two him.

"I love you too." He kissed the top of her head. They slowly pulled away.

"I'll call you when I get to Denver."

"You better." Sam smiled softly. And Martin grabbed his suitcase and walked toward the door.

"I'll be back before you know it." Martin turned around and softly smiled at her before he walked out the door. Sam lay down on the bed and cried though the whole night.

The next morning Sam woke up with red eyes. Her stomach felt queasy and she ran into the bathroom to throw up. She figured it was just her sadness. She somehow managed to get ready for work by using eye drops and several cups of coffee. Before leaving, she checked her cell phone. 'One missed call' flashed before her eyes and she listened to the voice mail: "Hey, Sam, it's me. I just got to the apartment I'm supposed to stay at. The head of the FBI said I couldn't contact anyone for a while. They said I was going on some assignment. I'll check in as soon as I can. I love you. I'll talk to you later." Samantha sighed and the phone went to the next message, which was another one from Martin. "Hey, it's me again. I…just…don't forget me. I will never forget you, no matter how long I'm gone. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, but I just wanted to tell you. I love you. I really have to go now. I'll talk to you as soon as it can." Samantha did her best to fight back the tears and headed toward the office, not that it would be any easier there.

* * *

"Morning, how ya holding up?" Danny asked Samantha as she walked sadly into the bullpen.

"Morning. I've been better." She said and looked at the sandwich Danny was eating. "That's really disgusting, Danny." She said irritated.

"What? You think it's too early for tuna? It's not bad, do you want some?" Danny held up the sandwich for Samantha, even though he didn't want to give up his precious breakfast. Samantha responded by running out of the bullpen towards the bathroom, running past Vivian in the process.

"What's wrong with her?" Vivian asked as she took a swallow of coffee and sat down at her desk, Danny followed her.

"Maybe she's just upset, I don't really blame her." Danny said and took a bit out of the sandwich and suddenly realized something, "Didn't she used to love tuna?"

"Danny, it is eight a.m. She was probably up all night. You're reading too much into this."

"Maybe." Danny polished off his sandwich and Samantha re-entered the bullpen.

"Hey, sorry about that." She said embarrassed and sat down at her desk. "So, what's on the agenda?"

"Hey Sam, Jack and Viv and I are gonna get some drinks, you wanna come?" Danny asked as the team prepared to pack up for the night.

"No, I need…to get something. I mean, I'm not really up for it."

"Okay," Danny paused, "if you ever want to talk, or anything. I'm here."

Sam smiled softly, "I know, I just need to figure out something."

"What kind of 'something'?" Danny asked

"Danny," Sam started, "it could be nothing. I just need to get something."

"Yeah, you said that. Sam, you can tell me."

Samantha took a deep breath and leaned toward Danny, "You can't tell anyone, okay? At least not yet."

"My lips are sealed."

"I think I might be pregnant." Samantha stood up and put on her jacket.

"Oh," Danny didn't seem all that surprised, but Sam didn't seem to notice. "Can I do anything?"

"Yeah, bring Martin back."

"I don't…think…I can." Danny said cautiously

"I know you can't." Samantha said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Samantha stood in her living room holding a plastic bag with an early pregnancy test inside. She knew she had to take it, but she wanted to wait as long as possible. A part of her really wanted to be pregnant, knowing she would always have a bit of Martin with her. But another part was scared to death; she knew she couldn't handle the responsibility. She sighed and went into the bathroom.

All she had to do was wait. Wait for the timer to go off. Wait to see what the rest of her life would be like. The timer rang an annoying buzz and she picked up the plastic stick. Pink meant positive. She sighed. Everything had changed in a matter of seconds. Sam reached for her cell phone and dialed Martin's cell number from memory. After three rings, a mechanical voice answered, "We're sorry, this number as been disconnected. Please hang up and…" Samantha hung up the phone and begun to cry. She cried because she needed Martin, and she cried because she was alone, and she cried because she didn't know what she was going to do.

* * *

Samantha opened the door to Jack's office the next morning in an angry rage.

"Bring him back!" She yelled hysterically.

"Who? Martin?"

"No, John Lennon. Of course Martin!" She begun to scream

"I'm sorry, Sam, that is out of my control."

"Bullshit! You know were he is. Bring him back, call him. Call Denver and tell them that you made a mistake. Tell them that Martin isn't right for the job."

"It's too late. He's already on the assignment."

Samantha sighed and sulked in the chair and tried to calm herself down.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"I can't say. I mean, I guess I have to eventually. But right now I need Martin."

"He's in Denver, working undercover. You can't reach him."

"When will I be able to?"

"I don't know."

Samantha stood up and walked towards the door, "I'm not feeling well, can I take the day off? You can call me if you need me to come in."

"Sure. I wish I could help you more."

"Yeah, right." Samantha said under her breath as she walked out of the office.

* * *

Eight Months Later

Samantha held the tiny baby close to her body and stared off into space.

"Hey." A familiar voice said softly as the door opened. Samantha wished it was Martin, but it was only Danny.

"Hi." Samantha said softly as the baby yawned and drifted off to sleep. Samantha looked up at Danny with hopeful eyes, the same eyes that always asked the same question: Did you find him?

Danny shook his head in response, "Not yet, I talked to Denver. He's still undercover."

"God, it's been almost a year Danny."

"I know." He walked over to Samantha, "have you thought of a name yet?"

"Yeah, actually. I was thinking Cecilia. It was my grandmother's name."

"Cecilia Spade, I like it."

"I think she's going to have Fitzgerald. I think it would be better." Danny nodded and sat next to her.

"She's beautiful. Martin would have wanted to be here."

"He's not dead, Danny. He's just…not here." She drifted off

"I know." Danny said, "I'll let you get some sleep. You're going to need your energy."

Samantha smiled and put the baby into the bed next to her, "Yeah. Thanks for coming."

"No problem." Danny left the room and Samantha looked down at the sleeping baby and a tear fell down her cheek.

* * *

Two Years Ago

"Danny, guess who called?" Jack asked as he came into the bullpen.

"Who?" Danny took a picture of a missing accountant off the white board.

"Our very own Martin Fitzgerald." Jack said and walked toward Danny.

"No kidding," Danny realized that it was Samantha's day off, "What did he want."

"He was wondering if you wanted to come out and help him work on a missing persons case."

"How long?"

"A week end, a week?" Jack said unsure.

"Yeah, sure," Danny smiled, "It would be nice to see him again."

"Your plane leaves tomorrow morning." Jack said and walked out of the bullpen.

* * *

"You're what?" Samantha asked as she refilled Danny's water glass. Cecilia was two and contently playing on the floor with a doll, Samantha was keeping a close eye on her.

"Going to Denver for a couple of days," Danny took another swallow of water, "Martin called…"

"He called you?" Samantha sat down at the table across from him. Samantha had moved into the house about a year ago, she didn't want Cecilia to grow up in the city.

"Jack actually." Danny glanced over at Cecilia, who had found her way to another doll.

"So, he calls Jack but not me?" Samantha looked hurt.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, Sam, it was for business. I'm sure he'll call you when he can."

"Okay." She sighed, "So when you see him, can you not tell him?"

Danny looked confused, "about what?"

"About Cecilia, I want to tell him. Just tell him that I'm doing well."

"Okay, but he's gonna have to find out eventually."

"I know, I just want to tell him myself. I don't want him to be working and then you come along and drop this bomb-shell on him."

"Okay, I won't." Danny stood up and walked over toward Cecilia, "Okay, I'm gonna go. Bye Sam. Bye Ceel!" The little girl looked up at him and giggled.

"Bye!" She squealed and went back to her dolls. Danny waved goodbye and went out the door. Samantha sat down next to her daughter and watched her play with the dolls. Samantha knew she had to tell Martin, and in two more years, she would.


	15. Filling in Small Holes

Author's note: Sorry it took so long for the update, but I've been busy with school. I should be updating more as soon as finals are over. Thanks for the reviews:)

Samantha awoke around eleven at night warm and rested. She looked around the room and noticed Martin had left. She yawned and walked into the living room where Martin stood changing his shirt-Samantha smiled at the view. "Hi." She said and sat on the couch near him.

"Hey." Martin rummaged though his suitcase for a t-shirt and something on his arm caught Samantha's eye. It was a circular scar on his left tricep and looked so much like the one on Samantha's left thigh.

"What happened?" She asked and lightly touched the scar, "Did you get shot?"

Martin looked at where Samantha was touching, "Yeah, about three years ago. Maybe four."

"How?" Samantha felt bad for him; she knew what it was like to get shot. Suddenly her own words came into her head: _Do your self a favor, Martin. Don't get shot, it's not all it's cracked up to be._

"Drug bust gone bad. I was lucky; one of the members on the team was killed."

"I'm sorry." She said and pulled her hand away as Martin continued to put on his shirt and sat down next to her.

"It's all in the past now, I guess." Samantha leaned into Martin and decided to say what she had been on her mind since he walked into the door.

"Martin, can I asked you something?" Martin turned to look at her, "Did you see anyone when you were in Denver?"

"Like date anyone?"

"Well…yea…I mean, you don't have to tell me. I just…just wanted to know."

"I went on a couple dates, nothing to serious I guess. Some of the people at work felt sorry for me so they hooked me up with Trudy or Jenny or whoever they knew. I pretty much spent the dates talking about how much I wanted to go back to New York."

Samantha nodded at the response she wanted to hear. "So, you were on an assignment for a while at the beginning?"

"Yeah, I had to go undercover to find a serial killer. I actually was trained to be a bartender." Samantha smiled softly, the last thing she imagined was the former white-collar boy to be making drinks undercover.

"So, how long was the assignment?"

"About two years." Samantha looked surprised, "Jack didn't tell you?"

"No, I pretty much distanced myself from him when you were gone."

"Oh. Yeah, well, it was probably the longest two years of my life."

"Danny had to go undercover as a garbage man one time." Samantha said to lighten the mood.

"The sounds like Danny." Martin kissed the top of Samantha's head, "What about you?"

"I was here. I took a year or so off work when Cecilia was first born. Then I got her in a good daycare program, and then the preschool. It's kinda hard to believe she registers for kindergarten next summer. But I've been good. I'm better, now that your back." Samantha couldn't control herself anymore, and turned and kissed Martin hard on the lips. He responded by kissing her in return. When they pulled apart for a breath, Samantha said quickly, "Bedroom?" Martin nodded and they continued to kiss as they went into the bedroom.

* * *

"Morning." Samantha said as Martin woke up next to her. The sun was coming in through the window illuminating the room.

"Morning," Martin blinked awake and kissed Samantha, "What time is it?"

"It's either really early or really late." She smiled. "Anyway, it's Saturday. We don't have to work today. I have weekends off and you don't have to be in until Monday. And Cecilia will be gone all weekend." Samantha rested her head on Martin's chest.

"Want me to get coffee?" Martin asked as he softly stroked Samantha's back.

"Later." She said half asleep.

"Okay…later is good." He said and they both drifted back to sleep. They both had so much to catch up on, but right now they were just glad to be together again.


	16. Garbage, a test, and a question

**Two Months Later**

"Sam?" Martin woke up with a start as he heard a clacking noise coming from the kitchen. "Sam? Are you okay?" He got out of bed and tried to maneuver his way around the dark bedroom. He walked down the dark hallway and saw Samantha sitting in the middle of the kitchen organizing and cleaning various pots and pans.

"Sam?"

"Uh-huh." She said without looking up

"You're cleaning"

"Uh-huh."

"You hate cleaning. And you like sleeping. It's three in the morning."

"So?"

"So, go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep." She said and stood up, "I just…can't sleep."

"Are you sick? Or stressed? Maybe you should take some time off of work."

"I…maybe. I just have to…um…take out the trash. The smell is beginning to bug me."

"I'll do it. Go back to sleep." Martin kissed Sam on the cheek and turned her in the direction of the bedroom, "And while I'm at it, I'll take out the garbage in the bathroom to."

"I can do that."

"No, Sam, go back to bed." Samantha sighed loudly and walked back to the bedroom. Martin had never seen her act like that.

As promised, Martin went to the bathroom to empty the wastebasket. As he begun to empty it, a small box caught his eye. 'Early Pregnancy Test' was written in large letters on the front. Martin knew he had to talk to Sam about it. Of course, after he took out the trash. She'd have his head if he didn't.

Martin walked into the dark bedroom and saw an outline of Samantha on the bed.

"Are you really asleep?" He asked quietly.

"No," She sighed and sat up.

"I took out the trash in the bathroom and I found…" Martin begun to say and walked towards the bed.

"I figured you would." She said quietly

"So…are you gonna tell me?"

"It was negative." She lay back down.

"Oh." Martin said with a sad tone in his voice. A part of him wouldn't mind having another baby, especially one that he helped raise.

"I probably should have told you that I thought I was. But I was just scared."

"I know," He lay down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, "But you still should tell me." Samantha turned to face him and smiled shyly.

"I know."

"Sam?" Martin said seriously

"What?" She said in a sleepy voice.

"Will you marry me?"


	17. The Answer

**Author's note: This chapter is really, really short, but I think I got the message across okay. I haven't been feeling too well so I couldn't update more. But I'll write more ASAP. Thanks for the reviews.**

Samantha was startled. The question seemed to come straight out of the blue. She couldn't breath, couldn't think. Martin's blue eyes were full of hope and anxiety as they watched her reaction. "I…" Samantha managed to get out, but then she plainly smiled, "Yes." Martin released a sigh and a smile. "Martin Fitzgerald, I would love to marry you." She rolled next to him and kissed him passionately.

"I know this probably wasn't the most idealistic way, but I…" Martin said but Samantha interrupted by kissing him again.

"It didn't matter. I still would have said the same thing."

"That's good to know." Martin smiled


	18. Sharing the News

Sharing the News

"Morning." Martin said as he walked into the bullpen, Samantha took the day off because Cecilia was sick. It hadn't been 12 hours since they decided to get married, but Samantha and Martin were already anticipating the next time they say each other.

"Morning." Danny replied as he took a swallow of coffee.

"Guess what?" Martin was ready to tell the world about the big news.

"Oh! I love this game!" Danny was already hyped up on coffee, "Is it good or bad?"

"Good. Really good." Martin poured himself a mug of coffee.

"You and Samantha are getting married?" Danny asked and Martin stared at him dumb folded.

"Thanks for stealing my thunder."

"Seriously? You guys are getting married? That's great, Fitz."

"Who's getting married?" Vivian asked as she joined the boys in the bullpen.

"You can tell her." Danny said and took another sip of coffee.

"Gee, thanks Danny," Martin said sarcastically, "Samantha and I are getting married."

"Congratulations!" Vivian hugged Martin "Since when?" She asked

"Since last night, I proposed and she said yes." Martin said proudly.

"Is she pregnant?" Danny had a strange sense of humor

"No, Danny. How is that even relevant?"

"Just wondering," Danny rolled his eyes, "Don't take everything so seriously."

"So, do we have a case to work on?" Martin asked and Danny and Vivian begun to fill him in about a missing accountant.

"Hey, Ceel. How ya feeling?" Samantha asked her young daughter.

"My throat still hurts." Cecilia whispered from under the blankets.

"Are you hungry at all?" Sam sat at the foot of the bed.

"No."

"Here, take these," Samantha gave Cecilia a children's Advil, "You just need to chew it."

Cecilia took the aspirin and took a swallow of water to get the faux-orange flavor out of her mouth.

"Hunny, I wanted to talk to you about something important. But if you're too sick,"

"It's okay Mommy, you can tell me." Cecilia smiled despite her sore throat

"Martin, uh, your dad. We've decided to get married." Samantha waited for her daughter's reaction.

"Yay!" Cecilia said enthusiastically, tired, but enthusiastically. "That's good."

"Yea, I think so too. You should go back to sleep so you can feel better. Just call if you need anything, I'll be in the living room."

"Okay. I love you, mommy."

"I love you too, Ceel." Cecilia rolled over and went back to sleep and Samantha quietly left the room. She was glad Cecilia accepted, and was the thrilled, about the news of the engagement. Samantha was nervous herself, though. Even though Martin was living with them and they had a perfect child together, she still felt uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. But she loved Martin with all of her heart, and was ready to take the next step.


	19. Flashbacks 2

Five Years ago

Martin leaned back against the seat on the airplane and took another swallow of water. He hadn't even been away for a day and he was already anxious to get back to New York. And Samantha. Martin yawned and closed his eyes, pretending he was still in New York and not on his way to a new job in Denver. He had loved Samantha Spade since the day she was held hostage and shot. He could pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with her, when she was lying on the gurney, crying, and telling Martin how sorry she was that she had gotten shot. Martin loved her then and hadn't stopped loving her since.

When Martin arrived in the stuffy business leased apartment, the first thing he did was check his cell phone for messages. Samantha had called him, but she didn't leave a message. He sighed and lied down on the bed, hoping he would wake up back home.

Eight Months Later

Martin was sick of Denver. He was sick of the mountains and the small towns and the stupid high altitudes. He was sick of being an undercover bartender to catch a serial killer. He was sick of always being alone. But most of all, he was sick of never seeing Samantha. Her face was beginning to fade. He remembered she had brown eyes, but the exact shade of brown he could not be certain of. Her ideal blonde hair had faded into a yellow shadow around her face. He didn't remember if she wore is straight more often or in a ponytail. Or did she curl it? His heart still skipped a beat whenever a blonde woman would come into the bar he was working, and he still felt a deep pain whenever the woman turned around to look nothing like Samantha. He was losing her. He would imagine himself walking into the Denver FBI office and handing over his gun and badge. This dream Martin would then hop a plane to New York and find Samantha waiting for him. But sometimes this dream Martin would get shot, or find Samantha in the arms of another man. The last thing Martin ever dreamed of was at the exact moment he noticed several missed calls from Danny, Samantha was holding their baby and crying silently.

Two Years Ago

Martin stood by baggage claim waiting for Danny to arrive from New York. Danny was assigned to Denver for a little while to give them an extra hand while Martin and the others searched for a missing family.

"Fitzy. You haven't changed a bit." Danny said as he walked toward his old friend.

"It seems like you haven't either, unfortunately." Martin said sarcastically as he threw his coffee cup away.

"So, how ya been?" Danny asked as he followed Marty to the car.

"Working a lot. I miss New York."

"I bet that's not the only thing you miss." Danny thought to himself, but he wouldn't dare bring up Samantha yet. He didn't want to let it slip that Martin had a kid back in New York. "Well, Martin, New York misses you. Granted, we've solved a lot more cases in the past few years."

"Thanks a bunch, Professor." Martin smiled as they got in the car. "So, um, how is everybody?"

"We're all good." Danny said even though he knew "everybody" only meant Sam.

"All of you?"

"Yep, good."

"So you, Jack, and Vivian are all good?"

"And Samantha?" Danny reminded him

"How is Samantha?" Martin managed to sneak in.

"Good." Danny didn't know how he walked in to that one, but somehow he did. He decided it best to be vague. "Do you know when you're coming back to New York?"

"No idea. But I want to get back as soon as possible." Martin said as he turned into the FBI building and tried to get focused on his work. But even as he explained the case to Danny, in the back of his mind he would have killed to get back to Samantha.


	20. Kidnapped

"Okay, Ceel. Ready to go to school?" Samantha asked her daughter as she took another swallow of coffee before they had to leave.

"Yea. Where's daddy?" Cecilia asked as she picked up her small backpack.

"He had to go into work early. But he'll be with me when I pick you up from school this afternoon."

"Okay." Cecilia walked out of front door followed closely by her mom. And unknown to Samantha, this would be one of the longest days of her life.

* * *

"Hey, Danny, did you get the address of the step-father yet? I think he might know something about the drugs."

"They're not _drugs_, Samantha, they are illegal prescriptions." Danny threw back as Samantha as he finished up a call.

"Whatever. He had to get the valium and Zoloft from somewhere. The step-dad is a pharmacist, and if he gave Carl those medicines, who knows what else he gave him." Samantha went back to her paper work but figured they'd end up finding a dead body. Carl Freeman had been missing for almost four days. Martin had to leave at dawn to drive to Connecticut where the boy's father and step-mother lived, also where he was last seen.

"Spade." Samantha answered her ringing phone, "Hey, Viv. Have you talked to him…but he's okay...Great, thanks for calling." Samantha hung up and turned toward Danny, "The case is closed. Carl Freeman was checked into a hospital under his fake i.d., Sean Hitchcock. He's in a coma. Apparently he was hit by a car. His parents i.d. him. The case is closed." Samantha was somewhat relieved that the boy was found alive, but his chances of surviving were minimal.

"Great. I'll call Martin and Jack in Connecticut." Danny said already dialing the number.

"Okay." Samantha went over to the whiteboard and took down the picture of the blond haired boy and wiped the board clean. It was nearly noon and Sam hoped that Martin would make it back in time to pick Cecilia from school.

"I'm gonna get some coffee. Do you want anything?" Danny asked after he hung up the phone.

"No, thanks. I'm good." Samantha sat back down at her desk.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea," Samantha smiled, "I'm great."

"Oh-kay" Danny said in a sing-songy voice and walked out of the bullpen. Sam was fidgety and couldn't keep still. She should be happy; she was going to marry the man she loves and has a child with. She still felt something was missing, but she was probably just being selfish. She had thought she was pregnant for about a day, but didn't tell anyone. It was until Martin found the box that she even told him. She wasn't sure if she did want to have another baby. Maybe in a few years when Martin and she and Cecilia were more settled, but not now considering Martin had only been home a few months. Maybe they were rushing everything too much. Samantha shook away the bad feelings and walked back to her desk. She had no idea that within the next hour, her life would be changed.

"Spade." Sam said as she answered her cell phone. She didn't recognize the number so her hopes of it being Martin were smothered.

"Samantha, hi, this is Miss Carole at Cecilia's school."

"Oh, yes hi."

"Cecilia isn't feeling too well and the nurse thought it would be best if she went home for the rest of the day. If you too busy at work she could stay in the nurse's office for a few hours."

"No, I'll pick her up. I'm actually finished here." Samantha stood up and begun packing up her things. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Great. Goodbye."

"Bye." Samantha hung up her phone and waved at Danny to come to her. "Hey, Danny, Cecilia isn't feeling well."

"What's wrong? Is it bad?" Danny being Danny, he was overly concerned about Cecilia.

"I don't think so. She just had the flu, so maybe it's that. But you know Cecilia, she'll never be sick for very long."

"That's our Cecilia," Danny smiled, "Go. I'll cover for you. Not that there is anything to cover."

"Thanks, Danny. I'll call Martin from the car."

"Tell Ceel hi for me." Danny smiled as Samantha rushed out after nodding to him.

* * *

"Hi, baby." Samantha picked up her daughter and held her tightly in her arms.

"Hi, mommy." Cecilia said tiredly and rested against her mothers shoulders and begun to fall asleep.

"Let's go home." Samantha said quietly to her daughter.

"Hey, it's me. Cecilia wasn't feeling to well at school and I'm taking her home. Danny can fill you in. I'll see you later. I love you." Samantha left a message on Martin's cell phone and carefully put a sleeping Cecilia in the back of the car without paying too much attention to her surroundings. When Samantha opened the driver's side door she saw a strange man sitting in the driver's seat.

"Who are you?" Samantha instinctively reached for her gun in its holster, but then remembered she left it in the glove compartment. She never brought the gun into the school: it scared little kids and she never thought preschool teachers posed too much threat.

"You'll drive." The man said. Samantha couldn't make out his face as he had a hat that hung over his eyes. He was tanned skin, like he had spent too much time in the sun, and badly needed to shave. He had dark hair that hung over his ears and peaked thought the hat. The man moved to the passenger side and pulled a gun out of his coat pocket. "Get in, now." Samantha nervously checked on her sleeping daughter and climbed into the front seat.

"What do you want?" Samantha asked as calm as possible as she closed the car doors.

"I want to have a little chat. Start driving."

"Where should I drive too?" Samantha pulled out of the parking lot and waited for a response. The man rattled off an address

"My daughter is sick. She needs to go home. Please, let me drop her off somewhere..."

"Lady, I'm not stupid. You'd drop her off at the FBI building and have me killed."

"No, I won't tell anyone. Please…for her sake, not mine."

"She'll be fine." The man pulled out the gun again but kept it low so it wouldn't be seen by others. Samantha nodded and continued driving to the address which she would later know as an abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere.

* * *

"Can I get you anything?" The man asked as he watched Samantha hold her almost awake daughter.

"She'll need water, and a blanket, and maybe a place to lie down also." Sam said.

"Okay. Put her over there," the man pointed to a bed with covers, "I'll get the water in a minute." Samantha kissed her daughters cheek and put her on the bed. Samantha knew the man was watching her so she carefully took her cell phone out of her pocket and put it in Cecilia's coat pocket. The most was swift and she doubted the man saw her.

"Come with me, I don't want you to try to do anything." Samantha obeyed and followed the man.

"What do you want?" She asked again

"Not now!" He yelled and took a water bottle and a can of beer out of a small refrigerator and shut it closed with his foot. "Give this to the girl, and then sit in that chair over there." Samantha nodded and knew not to try anything risky this time and simply gave the water to her daughter and sat down in the hard chair.

"I'm going to have to tie you up, so you don't try anything." He mumbled and searched for a roll of duct tape.

"Who are you?" Sam asked.

"You can call me Jim." He said and begun tying her hands and feet together. Then Jim took a cloth and tied it around her mouth. "Just for now. I'm going to make a call now. You'll be able to talk when I let you." Samantha nodded and glanced over at Cecilia, who had drifted into a fevered sleep.

* * *

"Fitzgerald." Martin answered his cell phone as he walked into the bullpen.

"Martin, Martin, Martin." A man chuckled on the other line.

"Who is this?"

"Oh, that's not important right now. What is important is that time is running out for two people you love." Martin froze.

"What do you want!"

"What is it with you people? The pretty blond kept asking me the same thing. Oh, what's her name? Cecilia? Oh, wait, that's your daughter. Samantha! Yes, that's it."

"What did you do to them?"

"Nothing, for now. But I really need some money. You see, my mother is sick and my sister just had a baby and I just got fired from work. So, I'm going to ask for some money in exchange for their lives."

"How much?" Martin asked as the rest of the team gathered around him.

"$100,000 for the girl. To start off with. Maybe I'll ransom the lady off too, but I could just kill her."

"I'll pay whatever you want, just don't hurt them!" Martin nearly yelled into the phone.

"Have the money in cash by midnight tonight. I'll call you with the location." The man hung up the phone and Martin didn't breath. He didn't swallow or shout or even blink. He stood in shook for nearly eternity when he looked up at his coworkers and friends. "He's going to kill them both."


	21. Ransom and Rescue

**Author's Note: I'm going on vacation so I won't be able to update for about a week, so I wrote a somewhat longer chapter and tried not to end it on a cliffhanger. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Thanks for all the reviews:)**

"What are you talking about?" Danny asked as he watched Martin slowly come out of shock.

"A guy called…he has Sam and Cecilia…he wants money…or he'll kill them." Martin slid into his chair. He was still holding on to his cell phone and his knuckles where turning white.

"How much did he ask for?" Jack asked

"A hundred thousand or Cecilia by midnight. He didn't mention Sam."

"Where is the drop off?"

"He'll call back." Martin looked at his phone as if he was mentally making it ring. Unfortunately, it didn't.

"Viv, you and I will call banks and get the money. Danny, try to get Martin to breathe and wait for the call." The team nodded and went their separate ways.

"Marty? You need to breathe. Can I get you some water?" Martin didn't respond to Danny's question. He merely put the cell phone on his desk and watched it. "Marty, breathe."

"What am I supposed to do? We do this every day! I can't just wait around while some guy threatens my family!" Danny watched in awe as Martin's face turned from white to red in a matter of seconds.

"Right now, all we have to do is wait until midnight. We'll get them back." Danny tried to stay as calm as possible, even though he cared for Samantha like a sister and Cecilia like a niece.

"I know…I know." Martin took a deep breath and started out of the bullpen. "I need some air."

"What if the call comes in?" Danny held up the cell phone.

"Then I'll answer it. I'll write down the address and wait until midnight. What else should I do?" Danny sensed desperation in Martin's voice.

"Okay, just come back if he calls." Martin walked out of the bullpen feeling as if he had just been hit by a truck.

* * *

Samantha watched Jim make the ransom call to Martin with wide eyes. She knew that Martin would pay the money, how could he not? Keeping in mind that Jim would live up to what he told Martin, Cecilia would be home safe. Right now, that's all Samantha cared about. Cecilia was still deep in her fevered sleep and Samantha hoped that she would remain like that until the ransom drop-off, but nothing was ever certain. As Jim walked over to her, Samantha noticed he was holding his gun.

"I want you to listen to me, Samantha. I just talked to your beloved Martin and told him the terms, which I'm sure you heard." Samantha nodded cautiously. "Now, listen very carefully." Jim pulled down the gag that was covering Sam's mouth. "I'm going to call Martin back and tell him where to drop the money off. At midnight, your daughter's life will be traded for one hundred thousand dollars, but I'll still have you. I'm going to need your help with the exchange."

"What do you want me to do?" Samantha tried to remain calm.

"Which one of the agents would be the least likely to try anything stupid?"

"What?"

"Who should I give the money to without risking being killed?"

"Give Cecilia to Agent Johnson and the money to Agent Taylor." Samantha replied.

"Okay." Jim pressed the gun up against Samantha's head for dramatic effect and walked back to the kitchen area for another beer. Samantha looked up at a clock on the wall that read "3:15"; she would still have about eight hours until Cecilia would be safe.

* * *

Martin made it back to the bullpen just as his cell phone rang; Danny had already set up the system to track it. Martin already knew that he had to stay calm and keep them on the phone as long as possible.

"Fitzgerald." Martin said causally into the phone.

"Hello again, Martin," The man said and the systems begun tracking, "I have final arrangements for you."

"I'm listening."

"The money, one hundred thousand dollars, will be unmarked and put in a duffel bag. The exchange will be made by Agents Taylor and Johnson. Agent Johnson will take the girl while Agent Taylor hands me the money. If anyone tries anything stupid, they will both die."

"Okay." Martin said and waited until the address was given. After they hung up Martin looked desperately at Danny and silently asked if the call was traced. Danny shook his head.

"It was untraceable. I'm sorry, Marty. We'll just have to wait until midnight."

"Right." Martin sat back down at his desk. Now, once again, all they could do was wait.

* * *

Samantha begun to doze off as she watched the minute hand slowly move around the clock. Cecilia was beginning to wake up, but who wouldn't after being asleep for nearly five hours. For those five hours, Samantha was sure she would die of anxiety. She also wondered if it was possible for someone to die of anxiety, or would they just kill themselves first? Sam's mind was beginning to wonder. It wondered to the first time Martin came to the office in New York, to the time when he left for Denver, and to when she found out she was pregnant. Everything seemed like a dream or some really twisted movie when everything went to fast and the audience had to watch the movie three times before they understood it. Samantha then realized how hungry she was, or at least how hungry Cecilia must be. Cecilia. Samantha would easily give up her own life to ensure the safety of her child's life. Jim way already half drunk by the time eight o'clock rolled around and was stuffing his mouth with chips or whatever he could find around the warehouse. It would still be four hours until the ransom drop off, and Samantha was beginning to fear he would be passed out by then. She had slowly begun to rip off some of the tape that tied her hands together and she would soon be free.

"Mommy?" Cecilia said in a small voice as she woke up, "Where are we?"

"It's okay," Samantha nodded at her daughter, "it's going to be okay. Your dad and Uncle Danny and Aunt Vivian are going to help us out. They are going to come in a few hours to take you home. Do you need anything? Are you hungry?"

"A little. Can I have some water?"

"There is a water bottle next to your bed." Samantha watched her daughter look for it, "Do you still feel sick?"

"I'm still tired." Cecilia replied as she begun drinking the water.

"Try going back to sleep, it's going to be okay baby." Sam smiled and Cecilia lay back down.

* * *

Jack and Vivian were beginning to load the money into a black duffel bag while Danny finished paper work (to keep himself occupied) and Martin drank massive amounts of coffee and stared at his cell phone. No one talked for a few hours. They were only one hour away from the drop off.

"Do we have a plan?" Martin finally asked and all the other agents looked at him.

"Vivian and Danny are making the switch," Jack replied, "You and I will wait in the car."

Martin nodded and took another long swallow of coffee.

"We should probably get going." Danny said and stood up. He, as well as the others, was anxious to get this over with.

* * *

"Are you doing okay?" Jack asked as he followed Vivian and Danny's car through the secluded area near where the drop off spot was.

"Not really," Martin looked out the passenger window and tired to figure out if he knew the area, he didn't. But then again, it was dark out.

"I know this has been hard for you," Jack pulled up next to Vivian, "But you need to stay in the car." Martin looked at his boss.

"You don't want me to play the hero, right?"

"To put it bluntly? Yeah." Jack replied and got out of the car. The agents could barley see each other in the dark but still managed to go over their plans.

"Okay, we have about five minutes," Danny said looking at his watch, "When we get Cecilia, whose car should we take her too?"

"Ours," Jack said and glanced over at Martin who was still in the car, "They will want to be together. Then we'll take Cecilia to the hospital to make sure she's okay." Danny and Vivian nodded as Danny picked up the duffle bag. But as soon as Jack headed back to the car, and Viv and Danny to the warehouse; they heard a soft scream followed by a gun shot.

* * *

5 minutes earlier

Samantha had the duct tape almost completely off her wrists and was starting to unravel the tape around her ankles-but she could only work on that when Jim wasn't watching her like a hawk.

"Kid! Kid, come on, wake up!" Jim, now drunk, shook Cecilia awake in effort to prepare her for the ransom.

"Don't touch her!" Sam yelled and was ready to pounce.

"Relax…relax." Jim pulled Cecilia up as she begun to squirm.

"I mean it, don't touch her!" Samantha yelled again, but this time she noticed Jim was holding a gun. Samantha backed down and hoped Jim wouldn't use the gun anytime soon.

"Shut up!" Jim yelled at Sam and, getting fed up with Cecilia's weakness, he pushed her on the ground. Cecilia hit the side of the bed on the way down. She screamed when she saw blood trickling down her arm and begun to cry. Samantha jumped from her chair and, for the lack of weapons, grabbed the chair and was ready to swing it at Jim. The leg of the chair hit his head, but before he went down he shot at Samantha. All three people, Samantha, Cecilia, and Jim, were lying on the floor bleeding.

"Mommy?" Cecilia crawled over to her mother's side and saw blood pooling out from the side of her stomach. "Mommy? Wake up, Mommy." Samantha coughed and slowly opened her eyes. "Ceel…I'm going to be okay." Sam touched where the pain was coming from and her hand came up covered in blood. Cecilia turned around to see Jim beginning to wake up. Cecilia held her mother's non-bloody hand and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Freeze…FBI!" Sam heard a familiar voice and begun to doze off. 

Martin held his gun up to the mystery man while Danny and Viv took care of Samantha and Jack went to other side of the warehouse to make sure the man didn't run.

"Put the gun down!" Martin yelled but the man seemed to ignore him and pointed his own gun at Samantha and Cecilia. Samantha was almost unconscious, and Cecilia had her face buried in Sam's shoulder.

"Sam…stay with us," Danny said and checked her pulse. "I got a heartbeat. Call an ambulance!" Danny told Vivian and she pulled out her cell phone.

"Drop the gun!" Martin warned for the last time before Jim attempted to shoot Samantha again. Luckily, just before Jim pulled the trigger Martin riddled him with bullets. Jim's lifeless body dropped to the ground. Silently, Martin and Danny agreed to switch places. Martin ran to Sam's side with Danny checked Jim for a pulse. "This one is gone." He said, with no tone of disappointment or sorrow.

"The ambulance is on its way." Vivian said and turned toward Cecilia. "Come with me, honey." Vivian lightly pulled Cecilia away from Samantha's side.

"Is mommy going to die?" Cecilia asked and wiped her eyes.

"No, she's going to be fine. We just have to get her to a hospital. You and I and Danny are going to drive there and meet your dad. He's going to ride in the ambulance with your mom." Cecilia nodded and Vivian led her to the car.

"Sam? Sam, can you hear me?" Martin asked as he propped Sam's head up into his arms.

"Is Cecilia okay?" Samantha's face was loosing color.

"She's fine. Stay with me, okay?" Martin brushed her hair out of her face and Samantha nodded. In the distance, they heard ambulance sirens getting louder.

* * *

Martin didn't let go of Samantha's hand through the whole ambulance ride. The paramedics said Samantha lost a lot of blood and bullet was still lodged in some muscle tissue below her skin. They would have to operate to get it out.

"I'm sorry." Samantha said quietly and coughed up a bit of blood.

"Don't be." Martin wiped the blood off her check with the sleeve of his jacket.

"That will never wash off." She managed a soft smile.

"Save your energy," Martin said, "You shouldn't be talking." Samantha nodded and tried very hard to keep her eyes open.

* * *

When the ambulance pulled up to the hospital, Martin begun to move out of the way and let the doctors do their job. The paramedics met up with the doctor and they held Martin back as Sam was wheeled off into the operating room.

"The doctor will see you when the operation is over." Martin accepted this response and sat down in the waiting room. Pretty soon, Viv, Danny, and Cecilia came in.

"How is she?" Danny asked as he sat down next to Martin.

"The bullet," he glance over at Cecilia to make sure she wasn't listening, but she was drinking water and lost in her own thoughts, "logged in some muscle tissue. She lost a lot of blood and they are operating to get the bullet out."

"Do you know what her chances are?"

Martin took a deep breath, "Depending on how the operation goes, about 70/30. She should pull through."

"Samantha's strong," Vivian sat down on the opposite side of Martin, "She'll make it. She has a lot to live for."

Martin watched his daughter finish up her water and she carefully inspected the band aid on her arm.

"I know." Martin said quietly and watched the hallway for the doctor to come out, even though he knew it would still be a few more hours until he came out.

* * *

Martin hadn't slept for almost 24 hours. He drank coffee continuously and checked his watch every five minutes. Vivian took Cecilia to her apartment and would take her to school the next morning. Danny was planning on picking her up if the situation with Samantha did not change, or got worse. It wasn't until four in the morning when Samantha's doctor finally walked in the hallway towards Martin.

"Mr. Fitzgerald," The doctor started and Martin prepared for the worse, "Samantha lost a lot of blood during the operation and flat lined once." Martin took a deep breath, "We were able to get the bullet out, but there will be a bit of scar tissue in the muscle."

"How is she?" Was all Martin really wanted to know, and he voiced it.

"Stable, she's resting right now. She'll need to stay here for a few days for observation."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course." The doctor led the way to Samantha's room. Martin didn't care if Sam was still asleep; he wanted to be there for her when she woke up. And he wanted to be there for her for the rest of their lives.


	22. At Hospital

**Author's Note: This chapter is kind of sad, but don't worry, it'll pick up soon. Sorry it took so long to update, but I ran into a lot of dead-ends. Flashbacks are in italics.**

Martin sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair next to the Samantha's bed. He could have fallen asleep if it weren't for the beeping of the heart monitor and the fact Samantha could wake up at any second. He watched Samantha's eyes move under her lids and he wondered what she was dreaming about, if she was even dreaming. He decided not to think about it to much and begun reminiscing about old times.

* * *

_"Did I ever tell you about when I was pregnant before?" Sam asked and Martin turned off the television to listen to her more. It was a snowy January evening and the couple was sitting on Samantha's couch flipping though channels. Martin wanted to watch 'The X-files' marathon but Sam vetoed it, so they settled on an old 80's movie that they had both seen half a dozen times. _

"_What?" Martin spun around to face her. _

"_I was eighteen," she took a deep breath and begun telling her story, "I thought I was in love. His name was David and we went out though the majority of high school. When I first found out he insisted that we got married, I thought that would be the best for the baby. We were married for three months when I lost the baby. It was so sudden, I woke up one morning and I was covered in blood. David was at work so I had to walk to the doctor's'. They did some tests and old me I lost the baby. A month later David and I decided to get divorced, since there wasn't really a point to being married anymore. A few weeks later I moved to New York."_

"_I didn't know." Martin pulled her close._

"_No one does. Vivian knows I was married when I was eighteen, but that's about it."_

"_Not even Jack?"_

"_Nope." Sam leaned her head back to rest against Martin's chest. _

"_What happened…you didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve to loose the baby."_

"_I don't deserve you." Sam said to lighten the mood and turned to kiss Martin._

"_Yes you do." He said and kissed her, "trust me."_

* * *

Samantha slowly opened to eyes to see a darkened hospital room. "Martin?" She said softly and moved her head to look at him.

"Hey," He said, "How are you feeling?"

Sam answered the question by groaning and closing her eyes. "How is Cecilia?"

"She's fine; she hurt her arm, but nothing to major. She's at Vivian's."

"And…the guy?"

"Dead."

Samantha nodded, "I wonder what he wanted," She didn't wait for a response, "God, I feel like I got hit by a bus."

"You lost a lot of blood, but you were lucky." Martin said as the nurse opened the door to Sam's room.

"Nice to see you awake, Samantha. I have your test results." Said the young nurse.

"Test results?" Sam said tiredly.

"It's required," the nurse glanced at Martin, "is it okay that you're in here?"

Martin and Samantha both nodded and waited for the nurse to continue.

"I have good news and bad news. You lost a lot of blood, but your body responded well to the foreign blood that was put in through the I.V. You are going to be fine."

"Is that the good news or the bad news?" Sam asked

"The good news." The nurse flipped through her chart.

"What's the bad news?" Martin asked and squeezed Sam's hand lightly.

"Your body experienced a lot of trauma, which caused you to miscarry."

"Miscarry? I'm not…I wasn't pregnant." Samantha blinked away tears. "I took a test but it was negative."

"That's not uncommon. If you took the test too early the results may have been inaccurate."

"So, I was pregnant." Samantha felt as if she betrayed Martin by losing the baby and wouldn't look at him.

"Yes, you were. I'm so sorry." The nurse said with sad eyes and left the room.

* * *

_"Transferred?" Sam nearly shouted as she and Martin got into his apartment, "I don't understand."_

"_Van Doren and Jack said I have to go to Denver." Martin closed the door and followed Samantha into the kitchen. True, Samantha was angry. She and Martin finally had a good, even great, relationship going. They had even talked about moving in together, but that was out of the question now. "Sam, please say something."_

"_Don't go." _

"_I don't have a choice."_

"_When are you leaving?"_

"_My flight is in a few hours," Martin walked toward the bedroom, "I have to pack."_

"_When did you find out?" Samantha decided to follow him_

"_Earlier today, there hadn't been a good time to tell you." Martin got a large suitcase out of the closet and Samantha begun getting together dress shirts for him._

"_How long will you be gone?" Samantha asked as Martin begun packing the suitcase._

* * *

Samantha didn't say anything for a long time, or it could have been a short time, they weren't really sure. "I'm sorry." She whispered and turned away.

"It's not your fault."

"I should have known, I should have gone to the doctor's or taken another test. I really am sorry." She twisted out of Martin's grip and covered her face with both hands. Martin knew that she had lost a baby once before, but they still had Cecilia. Martin was sad. He wasn't angry or disappointed or agitated, but just the Webster's definition of sad.

"Samantha," Martin only called her that when he was serious, "It's not your fault. You have to realize that." Samantha still didn't respond. "Can I get you anything?"

"No," Samantha finally rolled back over to face Martin, "I'm okay. I just feel…"

"Sad?" Martin attempted to finish her sentence.

"Yeah, and guilty." She said quietly

"Guilty?" Martin regretted asking the question because Samantha was already upset, but he thought she needed to get something off her chest.

"Maybe if I would have known, this wouldn't have happened."

"Sam," Martin begun

"Yeah?"

"Get some rest, okay?" Martin kissed the top of her head, "I love you." Samantha smiled and closed her eyes, as if that was all she needed to hear.

* * *

"Wheelchair? As if this whole thing didn't suck enough to begin with!" Samantha said irritably as Martin helped her into the wheelchair.

"Look on the bright side; at least you're leaving with a memorable exit." Danny said as he opened a can of Pepsi for Cecilia.

"I guess." Samantha had been going to physical therapy for a few weeks now and was in the hospital even longer.

"Ready to go home?" Martin asked as he rounded up all the random books and magazines he had brought for Samantha for the past month.

"Home? I don't remember having a home. I always remembered it as this stupid white room." Cecilia giggled at her mother's response.

"Mommy, can you walk?" Cecilia took a swallow of her drink

"Yes, but your dad said I have to ride this wheelchair out." She gave Martin the "evil eye"

"It wasn't just me; the doctor said you have to also. You still can't walk very well, anyway."

"Hey, I can walk just fine!" Samantha said sarcastically knowing that she still walked with a sever limp.

"I had to leave in a wheelchair when I was shot in the arm." Martin said quietly so Cecilia didn't hear. "I couldn't even wheel myself out."

"Did you have a nurse wheel you out, Fitzy?" Danny laughed.

"Had to. Of course, my nurses were Ethel an eighty-year-old woman who couldn't hear in one ear, and George, who looked like a former prison guard."

"Well, at least you were amused." Danny took Cecilia's hand, "We'll meet you at your house."

"Bye Mommy! Bye Daddy! I'll see you at home!" Cecilia waved to her parents and skipped out of the room, already buzzed on sugar.

"Why did we give her caffeine?" Martin asked as he begun to wheel Sam out of the room.

"Don't worry, we won't be home for about an hour and she crashes and burns. She'll probably be asleep by the time we get home."

"Poor Danny." Martin said sarcastically. He was still worried about Samantha, but she seemed to be dealing well. Most of the time she complained about physical therapy and being stuck in the hospital for over a month, but they both knew she got out lucky. Cecilia was still too young to fully grasp the situation. Samantha didn't talk about the baby, and Martin didn't push. They didn't tell anyone else about the miscarriage, mostly because it seemed they didn't need to. Samantha was already being babied by Martin, Danny, and Vivian and even Cecilia enough as it was.

"Are you ready to go home?" Martin helped her into the passenger side of the car.

"Ready is an understatement." Samantha smiled and closed the door.


	23. Dream for an Insomniac

**Author's note: Sorry this took forever to add, but it's been a busy couple of weeks. **

**Trivia: This chapter references Scream, Smallville, and Desperate Housewives. I just though I'd add that. **

_"She was never attacked; she made the whole thing up." _Samantha had been flipping through channels for the past few hours and finally settled on Scream. She watched as Neve Campbell hid in a bathroom stall while two girls talked about her. _"Where do you get this shit from?" A brunette with an annoying voice asked the cheerleader. "Ricki Lake." She said and walked out of the bathroom. _It was nearly one in the morning and Sam hadn't even attempted to go to sleep. In fact, she hadn't slept since she got out of the hospital a few days before. She had watched more infomercials and old horror movies in the past few days than she had in the past few years.

"Sam?" Martin was only half awake when he entered the dark living room. "Remember when you used to sleep?" He sat down on the couch next to her.

"Remember when I used to work?" Sam replied without looking at him.

"You're only taking a little while off work, just until you can walk by yourself again. You'll be back before you know it."

"I work desk duty anyway," Sam muted the movie as ghost face was killing the Fonze.

"Do you want to go back to the field?" Martin adjusted the pillows on the couch in attempt to get comfortable.

"I guess, eventually maybe." She gave up dividing her attention between the movie and Martin so she turned off the television.

"So, how are you?" Martin asked the question that seemed particularly cheesy to him, but he really needed to know the answer.

"They say I have post-dramatic stress."

"That's not what I asked." Martin noticed that Sam would hardly look at him.

"I know," She sat up so she could face Martin but slid down to the other end of the couch. He noticed she flinched when her side bumped the back of the couch, "I just…things were finally somewhat normal with us. You were back and Cecilia was so happy and we were about to start a new life. And then all this happened and…it just feels like everything's falling apart." After all this time, Samantha finally released her feelings and begun to cry. Martin slid down the couch next to Samantha and put his arms around her.

"It's okay." He remembered back to many years ago when Sam was doing the same thing for him when he realized his aunt was dying.

"What about Cecilia? She's so quiet now…should I take her to therapy or try to talk to her? I don't want to scare her." Sam wiped her eyes.

"She's more worried about you," Martin tucked some of her hair behind her ears, "So am I." Samantha begun to cry again, but this time she didn't worry about gaining control over herself.

"I've gone over everything in my mind…I could have done something in the parking lot. I could have called out for help or defended myself. But I thought if I did, he'd do something to Cecilia or me." She buried her tear stained face into Martin's shoulder

"Everything is okay," He put his arm around her back, "It's okay now."

She pulled back after several minutes of crying. "I think I can sleep now." She said weakly, her fatigue finally coming to the surface.

"Okay," Martin helped her stand up. He remembered that at night, for some reason, she hurt more than in the day. Although she still had difficulty walking at any time. He kept his arm around her shoulders as they went into the bedroom.

Within an hour, Sam had fallen into a deep sleep. However, now it was Martin who stayed awake. He had gotten used to her pretending to sleep and going off to watch television when she got bored. She seemed more vulnerable now that she was asleep and Martin felt he had to protect her. The man, Jim, was dead, but the damage he left on Samantha and Cecilia would always leave a scar.

Samantha's eyes fluttered under her eyelids as she begun to dream. She dreamed of failing to protect Cecilia or any future children from danger. She dreamed that she couldn't move her arms and legs as her babies were being taken away. In horror, her inner-conscious watched as the world demolished around her. She was the only one left and there was nothing she could do. She dreamed of a black sky and blood-rain falling on her face as she looked and the graves of everyone she loved. Martin, Cecilia, her mother, Danny, Vivian, and a couple names she didn't recognize but she could guess as future children. As the rain-blood soaked through her skin she held a gun up to her head and fired.

Samantha nearly fell off the bed when she awoke. But luckily, Martin was able to catch her.

"Sam," He held her as she begun to shake, "What's wrong."

"It's just," She failed at attempting to calm herself down, "Maybe I'm the one who should go to counseling."

"Okay," Martin brushed her hair out of her eyes and noticed a tear trailing down her cheek. "Well make calls in the morning."

* * *

"What do you think it means." Samantha asked Lisa Harris after she told her, in great detail, about her disturbing dream the night before.

"Obviously you have some inner turmoil, and you feel responsible for the people around you."

"I knew that." Samantha paced around the room

"Samantha, when you had Cecilia, did you go through separation anxiety?"

"You know I did," Samantha said, remembering the times she went to see Lisa before and after Cecilia was born. "What does it matter?"

"You said you lost a baby," Sam sat down on the couch as she listened to Lisa, "You're probably just going though the same thing, but this time you're more self-destructive than depressed."

"I'm not self-destructive." Samantha said, trying to convince herself more than Dr. Harris.

"You're not sleeping and when you do, you're having violent dreams. Plus, you're withdrawing from others. That's self-destruction," Lisa paused, "I've spoken to some of your colleagues and they agree with me. You should take more time off work and spend it with your family, your daughter."

"Colleagues? Who…who did you talk to?" Samantha felt betrayed.

"Agents Taylor, Johnson, Malone, and Fitzgerald."

"What did Martin say?"

"He's worried about you, Samantha. They all are."

"What should I do about Cecilia?" Sam decided to change the subject.

"I was thinking you could take her to a child psychologist. I can give you the number of a friend of mine, her name is Monica Jules." Lisa scribbled out a name and number on a piece of paper.

"Thanks," Sam folded the paper up and put in her purse. "I should get going. When is my next appointment?" She stood up and put on her coat.

"Next Tuesday at eleven o'clock. Will that work?"

"Uh, yeah, that would be fine." Samantha walked out the door and found Martin wondering in the hallway.

"What brings you to the third floor?" Sam smiled at him

"I was just between elevators."

"Oh, that's real smooth." Sam pressed the down button, "So where are you headed?"

"Back up to the bullpen," They went into the elevator. Sam pressed 1 and Martin pressed 7. "How was your meeting with Lisa?"

"It was okay, I guess I needed it." She watched as the numbers begun to rise. "I'm going back next Tuesday. She gave me a number for Ceel, I'll probably call."

"Counselor?" Martin prepared the doors to open as the elevator reached seven.

"Yeah, I think it might be good for her."

"Probably," Martin squeezed her hand as he walked out of the elevator. "See ya tonight."

Samantha smiled and gave a quick wave to Danny who was walking by. The doors closed and Sam leaned against the elevator wall. She pulled out the piece of paper out of her purse. _"Is mommy going to die?" _She heard the voice distantly in her head. All Samantha wanted right then was for Cecilia to move on and stop being afraid. She also knew that for Cecilia to get better, she herself would have to get better too.


	24. Cecilia

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." Samantha said as she helped her daughter into her jacket.

"You said it would make me feel better," Cecilia put on her hat, "I want to feel better."

* * *

Cecilia was getting ready for her first appointment with Monica Jules, the therapist Lisa Harris recommended to Sam. Sam was wary about it at first, thinking it would bring up memories that Cecilia had already forgotten. But Martin assured her that it would be okay. "She is just trying to help Cecilia move on." He had reminded her the night before.

"Okay, I'm ready." Cecilia opened the front door and Sam turned on the alarm system-you can never be too careful. The two headed out to the car, hoping that things would just get better.

"Hi, Cecilia, my name is Monica." The middle-aged woman with wisps of gray hair mixed in with her black bun.

"Hi!" Cecilia held on to her mother's hand.

"We've never, uh, done this before. Well, Cecilia hasn't." Sam said.

"I didn't expect her to have." Monica smiled kindly at them. "Samantha, I'd like to talk with you first. Cecilia can wait out in the waiting room, there is a supervisor and some toys for her to play with."

"Okay," Sam took Cecilia out and came back in.

"Please, have a seat." Monica said and sat down in a burgundy chair and gestured toward a sapphire couch where Sam sat down. "What did you want me to talk to Cecilia about?"

"We, she and I, went through a sort of, uh, traumatic event. I work in the FBI missing persons unit, so does her father. But we were kidnapped a few weeks ago and I was shot."

"Was Cecilia injured?"

"The man, the kidnapper, pushed her down and she scraped her arm pretty bad."

"What about you? Where were you shot?"

"My side, I had to stay in the hospital for a while. Cecilia visited me there. When I was there she stayed with her dad and some friends."

"Are you married?"

"No, but Martin and I, her father, we're engaged. He was gone for the past five years."

"Gone?"

"He was transferred to Denver and couldn't contact us. He didn't even know about Cecilia until a few months ago."

"How is Cecilia reacting to him?"

"They really love each other a lot; it's almost as if he's always been here."

"That's good. Well, I think I'm ready to talk to Cecilia. You can wait out in the waiting room and I'll talk to you when we are done."

"Okay, great. Thanks." Samantha let herself out and went to get Cecilia.

* * *

After about a half an hour of getting to know each other, Monica finally asked Cecilia how she was feeling.

"Scared," Cecilia looked down at her hands, suddenly reserved and shy.

"Sacred of what?"

"Mommy going back to the hospital, or dad going to the hospital, I don't like hospitals. And the bad man coming back."

"Did the bad man hurt you?" Monica knew she was talking about the kidnapper.

"He hurt my mom, but he hurt mommy more."

"Do you have bad dreams, Cecilia?"

"Sort of."

"What do you dream about, good or bad?"

"One time I had a dream I had a little brother, that was two nights ago. And last night I had another dream of the bad man. He came back to get us."

"Did you tell your parents about the dream?"

"No," Cecilia said sadly

"Do you know why you didn't?"

"I didn't want them to be sad." Cecilia examined the light pink nail polish on her finger nails and started picking at the paint.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? What's going on in your life? Good things."

"My cousin Bonnie invited me to her birthday party. She's going to be six; she's a year older than me. She has a sister named Eva, who's ten."

"Did you get her a present yet?"

"Yea, my mom and I bought her a purple bear with a purple stone necklace. Purple is her birthstone." In her head, Monica guessed by purple she meant Amethyst. Amethyst was the birthstone for the month of February, and that was the month they were in.

"My birthstone is green, because I was born in May. I think it's called Emerald. I wish I was born in February too, and then I could be purple. I don't really like green."

"So your birthday is coming up?"

"Yea, I don't know what I'm going to do for it. It's kind of far away." The conversation went on like that for a while. Cecilia didn't bring up the "bad man" and Monica didn't want to upset her. Monica asked Cecilia to bring Samantha in.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Sam asked as soon as she walked into the room

"She'll be fine. I think she'll need to come back a few more times, but nothing permanent. However, she does feel guilty about what happened."

"Guilty?" Sam sat down in the chair.

"She said if she hadn't of wanted to come home from school it might have not happened."

"It wasn't her fault, I told her that."

"I know you did, I just think maybe you should tell her again."

Samantha nodded and they continued discussing Cecilia and made another appointment for next week.

* * *

"I'm a failure!" Samantha said tearfully as she begun washing dishes.

"Sam, you're not a failure." Martin replied as comforting as he could.

"Yes, I am! I'm a horrible mother. I send my daughter to a preschool all day while I'm at work when I should be spending more time with her."

"A lot of parents do that."

"Did yours?"

"No, but, uh, I know people whose did."

"Yeah, the parents of people who we've interviewed in prisons!" Sam nearly dropped a plate.

"You are being too hard on yourself. You spend a lot of time with Cecilia, and she loves you. She hardly even knows me. Besides, going to preschool doesn't mean she'll wind up in the slammer."

"You are not helping."

"Sam," He turned her around and made sure she put down anything breakable or sharp, "She's a good kid. You're raising her right. She might end up going to the Peace Corps when she's eighteen. Either there or Harvard."

"Now you are just showing off." She said and finally smiled.


	25. Ordinary Life

**Author's note: This is the final chapter, it's a bit short, but i think it sumed up the story. And sorry ifI totally screwed it up, but I'm writing this at midnight. Thanks to everyone for the AMAZING reviews, i probably wouldn't have finished the story with you guys:) I'm working on a few more stories, so they should start to be posted in a few weeks. Long live the Smarty love! Fairygurl**

"Santa came!" Cecilia said as she jumped on her parent's bed. "Wake up! Presents!" Cecilia jumped off the bed and ran into the living room.

"It's sad what Christmas means to kids these days." Martin said as he and Samantha sat up.

"It's six in the morning." Samantha attempted to open her eyes.

"Want me to get the coffee?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Okay," Martin leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "Do you want me to get him up or should you?"

"I got it," Sam glanced over at the baby monitor. "It's nice that he's finally sleeping though the night."

Ryan Fitzgerald was four months old and was fitting in perfectly with the family. Cecilia, now six, had several friends in the first grade and almost completely forgot about the incident a year and a half ago. Samantha and Martin had been married for a little over a year.

_"Let me guess: 2.2, white picket fence, golden retriever." _They almost had that: Cecilia had her heart set on getting a dog, but golden retrievers scared her so she wanted a smaller dog. And Samantha was still convinced white picket fences were a conspiracy for brainwashing; Martin told her that his X-Files fascination rubbed off on her. She did agree that she was beginning to understand the show and why people had been obsessed with it for years, but no way was she going to name her son Fox.

Martin realized he couldn't make up for the lost time, the five years he spent wishing he could hand in his badge and gun and hop a plane to New York. But fate is a funny thing. Maybe if Martin had come home early, he wouldn't have realized how much he loved Samantha. Or Samantha wouldn't realize how much she needed Martin. Samantha never imagined herself like this, a wife and mother of two living in suburbia. But she was the happiest she'd ever been. She remembered the day Martin left, and the day he finally came back. And looking back on it, she wouldn't change anything. Because even after five years of being apart, she had found herself right where she always belonged: in Martin's arms.


End file.
